Love Meditation




This page gives a Meditation Technique that will improve your ability to love and be loved, -



and will also have the effect of attracting more love in your direction.







How will it do this ? Increase your love ?

Simply by improving the way that you feel about yourself.

It is my adaptation of a very old and very powerful meditation technique that has been used for centuries.

In the introduction page to this one (Meditation-and-Love), you came across the important statement -

Unless you feel good about yourself you cannot love !

So what you will be doing here is utilizing a proven technique to allow you to start to feel better about yourself, gradually but powerfully.

Which will have the wonderful effect of bringing more love into your life in every way.

The technique itself is very simple – but can be quite difficult and emotional at times, so progress slowly and calmly at it, as change will happen gradually over roughly three weeks of progressing with this technique.

(It is NOT a meditation technique for complete beginners however – if you have never meditated before, then this one should NOT be your first.

Experience a couple of other meditation types beforehand (maybe from the many offered on this website).


There are three separate sections to the meditation exercise, and you must progress slowly and according to the instructions.




I would very strongly recommend that you read right through the instructions at least a couple of times before you start,

and it would also be a good idea to get a copy printed out so that you don’t have to keep referring to your online screen.

So if you are ready to begin, then let’s get down to details: -

The first part of the meditation exercise




Start off by getting yourself into as relaxed a mental state as possible.

(You may want to do this by using my Relaxation Guided Meditation Script by clicking on this link – Relaxation Guided Meditation Script

… or else by listening to one of my relaxing CDs or MP3s that I offer, just click on the name to go to my page CDs and MP3 downloads


Next, sit comfortably in front of a mirror that is arranged so that you can see yourself from the top of your head down to mid-chest – and at the same level as yourself.

Keeping as relaxed as possible, and trying not to get emotionally involved, ... slowly look all over your reflection in the mirror,... looking carefully at all of the reflection of yourself that you see.

Spend about 3 minutes doing this, then -

Carefully consider each little part of your reflection, and gently try to find just one thing that you see in your reflection of yourself that you really like.

(It may be the color of your eyes, or the shape of your eyebrows, or the curve of your chin, or the straightness of your nose … or whatever !)

If you cannot find anything that you really like, then that’s O.K.- find something that you can accept instead.

(Perhaps you could agree with yourself that the color of your eyes, or the shape of your ears, or whatever – was not too bad, and that you could accept it just the way it is without too much difficulty).

Keep gently concentrating on whatever part that you have chosen, and try to exaggerate and emphasize the good points about it – almost as if you were trying to sell it to someone, and therefore building up its good points.

Take a few minutes to keep doing this, and at the same time try to condense all these good points so they can be summarized into one sentence.

(For example – “I like/accept the color of my eyes because it is like the color of the sea in the early morning, and I like/accept my eyes because they look honest and straightforward”)

Do this using only Positive adjectives, avoid using ‘but’ or ‘don’t’ or ‘can’t’, and any other words with negative aspects.

(The last example is positive, but would be more negative if you were to say – “I don’t dislike the color of my eyes, but I wish they were like the color of the sea in the early morning, but they don’t look shifty or dishonest.”)

Slowly repeat your summary sentence out loud to yourself three times, while at the same time concentrating on that one likable/acceptable part of you that you have chosen.

Then just quietly look at yourself in the mirror for about five minutes, trying to keep your mind empty of any criticisms or other thoughts about what you are looking at – just look and observe yourself.

Then gently close your eyes and stay relaxed for about another five minutes, keeping your eyes gently closed.

Just watch whatever thoughts come into your head, but try not to get involved with them, just watch the thoughts coming and going.

Finally give yourself a big stretch, and at the same time give yourself a mental “Thank You” for persevering with this meditation-type exercise.



If this is the first time that you are reading through these instructions, you may be thinking that this exercise sounds easy enough, and that it will give you no difficulty.

However it is not until you actually do it that you realize that it is not as easy as it seems – all sorts of emotional “baggage” often comes to the surface,... and sometimes you may even experience what apparently seems to be distortions and changes in your reflection.

Don’t worry, that is all quite normal, and in fact means that you are doing the meditation correctly – even if tears or sadness also can occur.

So this is the basic exercise, and you should repeat it once daily for about five or six days before moving on to the next stage.

In summary then - each time, first a relaxation meditation, then just watch your reflection, then choose a different small part of your reflection that you like each time, (or at least can accept), and as before –

… observe it,

… magnify and exaggerate its good points,

… put all those good things into a descriptive short positive sentence,

… say it slowly out loud to yourself three times,

… then just look at your reflection calmly for five minutes,

… next gently sit with eyes closed for five minutes,

… finally a big stretch while giving thanks to yourself.



The second part of the meditation exercise




So after you have repeated the first part daily for about five or six days, it is time to move on.

For the second part you will need a full-length mirror,

... where you can stand in front of it and see all of you reflected in the mirror, from top to toe.

Now, for the next three days only, wear comfortable clothing to do basically the same things as you did in the first part of the meditation exercise –

...but now doing it with all of your body visible in the reflection as you stand in front of the mirror.

And as before - each time, first just relax with another meditation,

...then just watch your whole body reflection for 5 minutes,

...then choose a different small part of your reflection that you like each time, (or at least can accept), and as before –

… observe it,

… magnify and exaggerate its good points,

… put all those good things into a descriptive short positive sentence,

… say it slowly out loud to yourself three times,

… then just look at your reflection calmly for five minutes,

… next gently stand with eyes closed for five minutes,

… and finally a big stretch while giving thanks to yourself.

So really these 3 days are exactly the same as the first part, but with you observing all of you from top to toe, instead of just from the chest up.

The next four days you do exactly the same thing each time - but without any clothes on.

(Obviously you must make sure that the room is warm enough for this, and that you will not be disturbed or overlooked.)

This sounds simple enough, but many people, especially women, have great difficulty with it, -… and deep down emotional ‘stuff’ often comes up.

’Hang in there’, and gently persevere, as this is going to ultimately make a big difference and improvement in how you love and are loved.

You may be surprised at what thoughts come into your mind as you do the exercise this way for the next four days,

… and what emotional feelings happen.

That’s O.K. – just let them happen, but don’t get caught up in them, just try to observe what is happening,

… almost like you are just watching it happening to your reflection instead of to you.

Then, you will find that by the fourth day you feel a bit more relaxed about this part of the meditation exercise, and will be ready to move on to the third and final part.


The third part of the meditation exercise



This part is the most powerful, and you may possibly find that it is somewhat unsettling for the first two or three days, -

... but then you will settle in to it better, and it will become easier for you.

As before, read right the way through the instructions to the bottom of the page at least twice before actually doing the meditation exercise.

You should do it once daily, and for seven days only, then stop.

This part takes a little more planning than the others.

Again you will be using the full-length mirror, and standing in front of it without any clothes on, but you also need a couple of other things: -

First – arrange some sort of curtains or covers over the windows, and the door.

So that the room will be dark when you turn out whatever light you have there – this is very important.

Second – you will need a candle that will continue burning for at least fifteen to twenty minutes, and firmly set in some sort of holder so that it cannot possibly tip over.

(A large diameter candle is probably the best, as it will last for the whole seven days’ exercises, and will be safe if it is stuck in the center of a large plate.)

Now find a good position for the candle – it should be on the floor and a bit behind you – but a few feet to one side -

...to the right side if you are right handed,

...and to the left side if you are left handed.

Check where you have been standing in front of the mirror for the second part of the exercise, and make sure that you cannot see the candle in the mirror –

… if you can see it, then adjust its position, probably more to the side, so that you cannot see it in the mirror any more.

So, when everything is in position, if you are ready, then we will begin –


As I described before, start with some form of regular relaxation meditation, and then when you have taken off all your clothes – light the candle – turn out the light - and stand in front of the mirror in the same place where you stood before.

Start off by just gently looking at your reflection, without doing anything else, for about five minutes.

Your eyes will gradually have become used to the low light by then and you should be able to see your reflection more clearly.

Remembering the parts of yourself that you liked/accepted over the last couple of weeks worth of meditation exercises – gently look at and focus on each one in turn.

As you focus on each one – try to send a feeling of deep acceptance, and deep liking – even love – to each one in turn.

Spend a minute or two with each of the parts.

When you have gone around all of them at least once, then gently try to look at your body as a whole without focusing on any one part –

… the easiest way is to soften your focus as though you were almost looking right through your reflection.

Do this for another five minutes or so, and at the same time -

… allow yourself the realization that with all of the parts that you had previously selected, you have included almost the major portion of your total body.

Try to include all of your body and accept it and perhaps love it just the way it is at this instant in time.

Maybe later you may want to change some things about your body – that’s O.K. - but right now – this instant – accept it the way it is.

Perhaps even like it a bit more than you did before, possibly begin to love it.

To love it for exactly what it is – the physical manifestation of your own special uniqueness – the one and only YOU !

Send feelings of love to your mirror image in the strongest way that you are able to at this present time.

Next, half close your eyes, and still keep peacefully looking at your reflection in its entirety, without focusing on any one part,

... imagine that you project your awareness actually into your reflection – so that you become as though you are your reflection looking back at you !

Allow your awareness to gently shift back and forth a few times,… from your body – to your reflection – and back again.

Do this for four or five minutes, then –

… gently close your eyes completely, and relax internally into your calm peaceful accepted body for about 3 minutes.

Then slowly open your eyes, walk over to the light switch, and just before you turn the light on, close your eyes again.

Turn on the light, then very very slowly open your eyes, and give a big stretch.

(And… don’t forget to blow out the candle !)



We should talk a little bit about some of the things that can happen to you during this third part of the meditation exercise.

While you are doing it you may experience any of the following –

Apparent Distortions in the size and shape of your face or body.

Shadowy extra shapes or figures that seemed to appear and disappear in the mirror.

Changes in the colors of your reflection, or of the background.

A strange feeling of unreality, especially when you imagine yourself as being inside your reflection and looking out.

Shadowy faces that appear and disappear, some of them almost scary.

Feelings of distortions of time and/or space.

Be reassured, these and other similar strange feelings are entirely normal with this form of meditation exercise.

As I mentioned at the beginning, this is a very powerful form of meditation, and there is a tremendous amount of activity going on in your subconscious mind as you do it.

This is what is creating these curious different feelings and visual changes that you may experience.

Try to just accept them as all being part of the unconscious or subconscious world that exists within you.

In fact, these sort of things are not only entirely normal, but they may also be desirable – as they show that your subconscious mind is subtly making the deep down changes in you that you are trying to achieve in this meditation.

And finally, you will also find that these unsettling images and feelings will gradually start to settle down as you do this meditation more and more.

One final important thing about this meditation – because it is so powerful, you should wait at least ten days before re-starting the whole meditation exercise again – or any part of it.






So that brings us to the end of this unique meditation.

You will find that it will gradually bring much more love and acceptance into your life – which will become much more balanced as a result.

And you will notice that you both give and receive love, gradually more and more…..which is the whole object of this meditation !

Finally, I have added a few short humorous quotations about love to end with, I thought that they would amuse and relax you after all your hard work with this Love Meditation Exercise.

Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. Franklin Jones

Always love your enemies - nothing annoys them so much. Oscar Wilde

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions. Woody Allen

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a man who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. George Burns

Love your neighbor as yourself, but don't take down the fence. Benjamin Franklin



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